I have created this blog to have a spot to bitch about my disease, Multiple Sclerosis. I have known for sure I have this disease since May 09, but the process started in Sept. 07. I simply had three fingers on my left hand go mostly numb. I have other pre-existing arthritic issues, so we assumed that it was entrapment. Well I had a call back to get my brain scanned asap! We had started with my cervical spine. I went at midnight and found out I was facing m.s. or tumors in my spinal cord.
As to date, I have been on copaxone, and re-bif. The copaxone gave me every symptom I didn't have and it got so bad at one point I was bed bound. I was also on about 15 medications. I pulled myself of almost all of them and nearly went crazy as I didn't sleep one wink for 5 straight days. I was delusional and my doctor had me admitted to a psych ward. I spent the weekend there with them scared because they took a picture before I documented it and I noted it on the paperwork.
I started re-bif in June of 09 and made it until September. It was awful. I was clinically depressed and the shots caused so much pain. It was like being steamrolled every other day and I was a limp noodle between. I once again was bed bound.
In November my in-laws came in and handed me an eviction notice that I had to go to rehab or I was to be evicted. I really didn't have much choice as my pain doctor fired me and I was going to have to wean somewhere. I spent 9 out of 14 days not sleeping due to neuraglia pains, my doctor was not going to do anything about it. I finally dismissed him and got the most amazing doctor. I have pain medication with out side effects! The pain cycle is broken.... praise God. I am alive again for the first time in 10 years. I hurt, but its true pain and the doctor knows it as the medication stops any pain medication desires. I am not pain free. I have limitations to what I can do, but I also only have so much energy due to the m.s.
We were evicted in December and we moved one week before christmas. It was an outpouring of help from wonderful people. I was truly blessed this holiday season. One woman helped me pack, another group finished it up, a group of men moved me in two hours flat and the woman who helped me pack kept the kids and then she and another couple came and helped me put the rest of the house together enough that it was a home. I am still unpacking, but it was truly amazing.
I have just finished trying to find local men through match.com, I have one catch and he's agreed to be my valentine. He will not be in Boise for another month, but I think that is giving us time to get to know each other in advance. I guess it's cool for him too as not often you move and have a woman waiting on you.
So, I am single parenting with three children and M.S. Its hard, but not as hard as I thought it would be. I am going to have my blood drawn this week and then I will start tysabri. I have been scared of it because of the chance of pml, but I know I am going to be fine. Apparently God must have known how strong of a woman I am carrying a heavy load. I am trying to find a middle ground, as for now I have been kinda working at a go hard one week then rest the next. That's not quite the middle ground I need, but this is my home and I want it to be amazing , like me. I want it to look nice.
I have found there is no easier way to run off a potential suitor than to say "I have M.S." I see that and the kids as a filter, if they still want to meet me in spite of that, you are worth my time. Well, that begins my m.s.b.s. journal, I like to keep the other one for other stuff and I know what few readers I have do not want to hear about it all the time, so this is for me and if it interests you, feel free to read.
